you have to use the internet for everything an using the libraries driving me up the wall finding jobs or courses is hell i neeeeed broadband >< even dial up will do!!!!!

Well we've been cut off now i have to use the libraries computer *hisses* but ive just ordered manga and some rock so alls well for a few days lol but i got up the courage to ask so least now i have some new manga coming harraaaah for me its called acting children lol!!

As always life is confusing but not as bad as usual lol straightened stuff out now all i need is my brain to follow stop being such a sissy an get on with it new territory isnt always a bad thing right?

On a lighter note ive managed to order some boxing gloves and arm pulling thing (isnt it obvious i cant remember the name? ^^;)  from amazon nothing like a good work out to take your mind off things though i seem to be developing into a washing enthusiast though i shouldnt have the water so hot but it doesnt feel good other wise lol so thats the strange quirk of me warm water feels dirty lol damn im weird ^^

life just seems to get more confusing with age you seem to stumble upon people you want to be with but dont have enough courage just to let yourself be with them and after you've finally managed to ignore your fears you find its too late.

it seems when ever i have a realisation about anything im always that few minutes too late and i know it'll always be my fault for hesitating for far too long it seems im constantly running after people....

but never catching them because while im thinking they've already made it miles ahead of me and by the time ive stopped worrying and try to allow something new its already gone.......

leaving me wondering if i could of coped with it in the first place but always leaving me wondering 'what if i had..' so as always my indesiciveness and my own doing has stabbed me in the back yet again lol i just cant help to wonder if i'll get over this fear of unknown or forever let it beat me because ive really had enough

Well people are confusing as ever a friend isnt really speaking to me now it was very strange one minute constantly talking to me and now silence i have a huge guess the fact i wouldnt go out with them was a big part of it but since X found someone else in 3 days i wouldnt say they were exactly traumatised people are infuriating and unreadble i just hope this isnt going to turn into a constant occurance it just melts my brain.........

Well lifes as confusing as always people liking you then nothinging you then liking you sorta relationshipships with people as a whole makes no sense to me and the more I try to understand the more confused I get its like everyone has their own secret code on adult life but i didnt get one bleh!

My mothers back and we've managed to tidy the house back to a respectable state so its to hiding for me i think im supposed to go back downstairs some though lol Well thats my day

well today was awful i hate not knowing where to sit then getting involved in charade type games luckily i avoided this by doing extra work but then got evil looks of doom for making the teams have uneven players an they asked the trainer why i couldnt join in lol luckily he gets the fact i dont like joining in these games an since ive done them before he doesnt see the need to force me for a third time lol Homes just as bad where evil dog reigns supreme i guess it gets to me the fact that my mother would choose a dog over me an its not even a nice dog it just shrieks an bites i mean if it was a nice cute thing it would be understandable but still it gets me lol least ive been talking to a few friends though

Well today was better than yesterday im starting to get used to having the scheme over crowded though im still miserable about constantly switching seats and i seem to find myself in the curious habit of analysing peoples conversations.

There seems to be a big gap between then an me which considering its only 3 years more or less its quite striking to see the differences and see how much can change in just a few years lol i feel like im getting old an my busted knee isnt helping.

Damn this week off rocks. I really don't want to go back Monday lol. Stayed up last night talking to my friend till 4am on chat, lol before we called it quits. Its nice to hear from friends i havent talked to for years.

"Sue the Pope for Discrimination"
http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/Sue_pope?e

I really think this is an important cause, and I'd like to encourage you to add your signature, too. It's free and takes less than a minute of your time.

Thanks!